(Source: thefourteenthdoctor, via vanillav)
martinet n. strict enforcer of discipline
“Lotty, as the owner of the paddles, and as I am undoubtedly your personal martinet, I insist that you assume the statant position again and accinge yourself for a jolly good whisternefet.”
Child’s worst Nightmares by Joshua Hoffine
CHILD’S worst nightmares?! THESE ARE STILL MINE
Pardon me while I go shit my pants.
omFg wh aht the FUCk
(Source: natashaduchaine, via intimewegetentwined)
Shot Dead in the Head’s T-Shirt of the Week
Especially the last: ‘I could of said “could have”, couldn’t I? And if I had, I suppose you wouldn’t be shaking me warmly by the throat.’
Drives me mad.
</rant>
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
(Source: , via nadianeptura)
… when the cover of the Oxford Dictionary of English Idioms is the same colour as her undies.
A haiku about getting out of bed:
No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no
Leonard Cohen, Butter Dish from The Book of Longing
Darling, I now have a butter dish
that is shaped like a cow
It’s Friday the 13th… some interesting etymology about the day of ghoulish superstitions…
The fear of Friday the 13th has been called friggatriskaidekaphobia, Frigga being the name of the Norse goddess for whom “Friday” is named and triskaidekaphobia meaning fear of the number thirteen. This fear is also called paraskevidekatriaphobia, a concatenation of the Greek words Paraskevi (Παρασκευή, meaning “Friday”), and dekatreís (δεκατρείς, meaning “thirteen”) attached to phobía (φόβος, meaning “fear”).
Why Storytellers Lie • the atlantic
” … we should remember how much we all have a tendency to fictionalize, whether we realize it or not. We like stories because, as Gotschall puts it, we are “addicted to meaning”—and meaning is not always the same as the truth.”
In addition to schupagirl’s comment, this is what stood out to me in-between a loud chortle:
“Just think of that great fictional storyteller Aeneas, who won over Queen Dido in large part because he did such a good job of enthralling her with his talk of the Trojan War. (Even back then, apparently, people spoke of Trojans prior to sex.)”
There is power in storytelling and, as we have known for aeons, especially reading aloud.
(Source: dignified-dame, via thenighthawks)
Bernard Black in “Rejection”
“… I do hope you will not be disheartened by your sudden, violent death.
Yours faithfully,
Bernard Black”
