20
Jun

Word of the Day 20/06/2012 - graveolent 

graveolent a. having a rank smell; fetid; stinking

A perfect asteism. Someone you dislike intensely* asks you if you think they’re a bit too serious. You can answer in what sounds like a diplomatic way, but is dripping with insult:

“Well, you can be sometimes. But in the main I just think you’re graveolent.”

*Your boss, your teacher, the hideous person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, your children, Jim Carrey, all footballers, the miserable bastard in the pub who smiled once and it looked like he’d learnt how to from a book on engineering, anyone called Quentin, that bunch of dreadful ‘actors’ who appear every month in American ‘comedy’ films (Will Farrell and his moronic ilk), Christians, gobshites, people who talk VERY LOUDLY everywhere so you can hear nothing else, people who talk in cinemas, halfwits who stare at you for hours on end in a restaurant because the people they are with aren’t as fascinating as you, people who ride Harley Davidsons and are deluded enough to think they’re cool instead of behemoth and tastless lumps of metal that sound like a combine harvester with croup, bigots, racists, twats generally; the list is endless.

2
Jan

Word of the Day 02/01/2012 - asteism 

asteism n. an ingeniously polite insult

Example: ‘ignify’ is audibly close to ‘dignify’, but means ‘to ignite’.  Tell your boss that you ensured their important email was printed off and thoroughly ignified and they’ll go away happy, not realising he or she has been ingeniously insulted and that you set fire to their message in the toilet while having a crafty fag*.

*By which I intend, of course, the English colloquialism for ‘cigarette’. I’m not suggesting one should indulge in cottaging or behave like George Michael. Unless one wants to. 

Other Words of the Day that are useful examples of asteisms:

Acaulescent

Rinderpest

Lyssa

Sciolist

Quimtessent

Lutulent

Philosophunculist

Jugulate

Graveolent

Vesticate

Nugacious